***This is some serious shit about my life, you can choose to read it or not. My close friends probably know all this and more about me, but if you really want to know about my life, read it. I don’t care…that’s why I fuckin’ typed it isn’t it? Haha…enjoy…

I used to live a totally different life. I grew up in Prairie Village, Kansas – lived there for the first 6 years of my life. It’s always been my hometown. When I moved here 10 years ago, I wanted to die. I missed it so much, and it hurt, even for a 6 year old. Elementary school, I was a violent rebellious child. My parents blamed it on ADHD and threw me on meds. It just made me worse. I was known as the kid who got sent to the principal’s office the most times in a week! I smashed in a window when I was in second grade because I was pissed at my teacher! And then, just to make things worse, after 5^th grade I was totally separated from all my friends at prairie star elementary. I was sent to blue valley middle, and I was at an all-time low in my life. I suffered through depression all through 6^th grade. 7^th grade was better, because I met someone who actually cared about me and actually treated me like a friend – Josh Prince. But that same year, my friend whose name I won’t mention hung himself in his own house because he had problems with drugs and serious family problems. That threw me back into depression for a while. 8^th grade, things got better. Josh and I both went to prairie star middle, and I was reunited with all my old friends from elementary school. I also started hanging out with my old friends from prairie village that I hadn’t seen for years! They welcomed me into their little “gang.” Life was good, I guess. I picked up smoking half way through 8^th grade – big mistake. After that, my life started heading in the wrong direction. My new group of friends kinda merged with another group of people from downtown KC MO (it was like 5 minutes away from prairie village). They got themselves into some shit, and I got dragged into it too. 8^th grade summer…everything changed. Parties started up, I smoked weed for the first time in my life, and I got drunk for the first time in my life…lots of shit happened. And just when I thought my life was getting good, one of my friends drops acid and gets hit by a car…now he has brain damage and can’t remember anything. Back into depression…and smoking made it worse. By then, I was totally addicted to smoking, and I regret it to this day. I still hung out with my friends from prairie village and KC MO, but I had become much more quiet, and not nearly as active and crazy as I was the summer before. Things changed for me…and I hated it. Finally, summer was back. I did more drugs, and became a total druggy. I drank and smoked till I passed out. I got in some serious fights, and I almost lost my own life! I had on and off relationships with a few girls, and sometimes I even had to fight off the pervs from KC MO ‘cuz they tried to take advantage of some drunk girls…my girls. Beat their asses too, I might add. But I got my ass handed to me plenty of times…some of which terrify me just thinking about how beat-up I was. I lost 3 friends that summer…but I somehow managed to pull through…and towards the end of summer I cut myself from everything and made the worst mistake of my life. I dated Jenn Pilney for over a year, and I lost everything. When I finally dumped her, My friends from Prairie Village and KC MO all turned their heads and told me to get the fuck out away from them – that wasn’t my hometown anymore. I lost all my old friends…and I was barely able to hold on to my school friends. I went through depression again…I got hooked on weed again…My smoking habits were still bad. Everything sucked! Without my friends, I’d be dead right now. But I pulled through. Why? Because I fucking tried! I didn’t give up and cry about it like some pussy-ass EMO bitch. I stayed true to myself and pulled through. To this day, my life still isn’t totally back to the way it was, but it’s getting there. I quit smoking, after 3 long years. I’m on diversion, and I doubt I’ll ever have another drug problem again. And I’ve still got my best friend, Josh. Out of the frying pan, into the friar, dumped into hell, and then spit out – just to start over. That’s my life. There’s more to it, but I don’t want to get into all the details. I just thought you’d like to know…

molotov cocktails are hardcore...me josh and ryan - hardcore FOREVER

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